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Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long walks or exercise help them to invoke the muse, I've found that cruising along through cyberspace with no particular place to go helps to stimulate that corner of my brain that holds great ideas. Sometimes when I need a little more stimulation I even go as far as drinking a few Bud Lights. The things I do to please my readers... One of my favorite websites to visit when I've had a few beers is HotorNot.com. If you haven't heard of HotorNot.com then I suggest you click over there real quick and check it out. I'm far too buzzed to go into a detailed description right now. I'll pause while everyone clicks over. (PAUSE) Ok! Is everyone back? Good! And n...

Thought for the Day: Why Doing a Task Yesterday, I was repairing part of the eaves on my house.  It had sustained some water damage, and I needed to add a two-by-four piece of wood for some extra support. I had already cut another, thinner piece.  But I decided a more substantial piece was needed.  And making it a little longer would give a nice, tight fit. The thought occurred to me to measure the place where I would put the two-by-four.  But that meant finding my measuring tape and climbing the ladder around the corner.  What a hassle. So I lay the thinner piece along the two-by-four, added a little extra for the nice, tight fit, and ran my handsaw back and forth over the wood.  Within a couple minutes I had my custom-sized support. As you have probably already guessed, the fit was very tight -- much too tight -- in fact, too tight by about half an inch. Sliding door repair Dubai   TV Installation Services in Dubai Furniture Assembly...

Things That Go Bump in the Night Last night my wife, Nancy, and I were alone in the house. We were just falling asleep when we were startled by a thunderous thump and a loud, drawn-out dragging sound coming from somewhere within our house. We both sat up in bed and Nancy whispered, “What was that?” Now how am I supposed to know what’s going on in the rest of the house? I’m not clairvoyant, I’m scared. I’m the only person I know who’s childhood hero was the Cowardly Lion from ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ The problem is, if I tell her the truth she’ll want me to investigate. Apparently, during our wedding vows I agreed to take out the trash and investigate psychotic murderers crawling around our house in the middle of the night. I decide not to panic her. “It was just the wind,” I assure her, my voice quivering with fear. “Oh, okay,” she says and believes me! “Thank goodness you’re here or I’d be frightened to death.” Then she rolls over, closes her eyes and immediately falls back ...

Things I have learned Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. But if you do, sleep in the bathtub ... If you are extremely drunk and swear you will never drink too much again, you WILL forget this when you are sober. Article Body: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. But if you do, sleep in the bathtub ... If you are extremely drunk and swear you will never drink too much again, you will forget this when you are sober. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "Government." There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." If you don't understand this, try putting up your own blog. You'd better get all your sex here on earth because there won't be any in heaven. People who want to share their religious views wit...

Theory Of Evolution Challenged While the Theory of Evolution has received numerous challenges since Darwin proposed it, none seems to have taken the scientific community with such devastating surprise as a theory recently proposed by a French Chef from Bordeaux. Andre Dumier, who operates a One Star Michelin restaurant just outside the city of Bordeaux, advanced the theory after contemplating what he considers the first requirement in the various stages of evolution – the availability of food and, in time, wine. We were fortunate in being able to arrange an exclusive Newslaugh interview. NewsLaugh: Would you please explain your theory? Dumier: But, of course, monsieur. The great flaw in Darwin’s Theory is that he puts Natural Selection before the existence of food to select. NewsLaugh: Say, that’s interesting. Can you elaborate? Dumier: It is my pleasure to do so. To me his Theory of Evolution does not make a primary place for the existence of food. Let me explain. Do yo...

The Topless CPA Todd, out of town on business and looking for a bit of comfort, knew he was in trouble when the topless dancer he just couldn’t say no to slipped his next twenty into her silver garter, and, with a twinkle in her green eyes, asked, “Would you like to go to the champagne room? It’s more private in there.” Although this was Todd’s first visit to this particular club, he had been trapped into that expensive intimacy once before at another topless spot in New York and knew, legally, she could offer him little more than he was enjoying in the crowded main room, except higher prices. “Sure,” he replied, unable to put wisdom before attraction, as straightforward men have been unable to do from time immemorial. Lila took his hand and led him toward the blue neon sign that heralded The Champagne Room. She pushed aside the black curtain and led him past it. There, in the dim light, were about a dozen small tables, with topless dancers at work on their eager attendees...

Surviving college, college survival, college survival guide, off to college, going off to college, writing paragraphs, paragraph worksheets, essay worksheets, brain-based lesson plans 1. Never miss a meal – you might regret it later that hour. 2. Park your car accessibly close. 3. Don’t park in timed zones (2 hour, etc.) – parking overtime adds up. 4. Don’t park in No Parking zones – parking tickets add up and have to be paid before next semester’s registration. 5. Don’t park in Tow Away zones – towing fees are hard to come by. 6. Take the bus. 7. A fine-point Sharpie is the best thing to use for signing autographs. 8. A fine-point Sharpie is the best thing to use for signing casts. 9. A fine-point Sharpie is the best thing to use for signing “I’m a friend when you need one” cards. 10. Staplers can be used to repair the hem on your jeans. 11. Staplers can NOT be used to repair a torn dress or bra strap. 12. Staple removers make great ice tongs for tiny ice cu...

Title: The Superior Mind -- Man vs. Mouse An epic struggle of man vs. beast I’ve never thought of myself as a brave man, but it’s nice to know if you’ll be able to handle yourself in a dangerous situation. One morning on my drive to work such an occasion occurred. I was cruising down the road and singing off-key to the radio when I suddenly had the gut wrenching feeling that I wasn’t alone. I could sense the presence of evil even before I saw the black, beady eyes and the long, fang-like teeth that would have chilled the blood of a navy seal. I swerved the car like a madman, not caring about my own well-being or the safety of others as I tried to disgorge from my car this demonic creature from the depths of hell. But the brute held on! Clinging to my wiper blades like a trapeze artist was a mouse. And I’m not talking Mickey Mouse here, this mouse was mean, evil and cunning. I could see it in his eyes. Once I’d gotten over my initial panic I knew I had nothing to fear. I had...

The Power of Humor Humor is much more powerful than most men would think. It is among the most powerful "dating weapons" when it comes to attracting women. This article explains to you why "making women laugh and fall in love" is a science. Sure you can have fun with it—or else why do people pay for the comedy shows and those comedy channels? You can also use it reduce tension, find a great bargain, keep your children in their seats…you name it. There are a thousand and one use of humor, but it leads to an ultimate goal—laughter. Laughter is powerful, and much more powerful than most people think. You can make women laugh and fall in love with you. That sounds like a pretty bold claim doesn’t it? Let me explain. Human beings have an obsessive desire to remain consistent. It is physically impossible to dislike the person who has already made you genuinely laugh, as you can’t resolve the conflicts and incongruity between laughter (liking someone) and d...

The Perks of Global Warming Good News! Those pesky glaciers are finally melting off. At first, news of devastating global climate change might seem a bit of a bummer. Relax. Your faith is about to be restored. Keywords: Global warming, greenhouse effect, climate change, bush, green house affect, environment, weather, hurricane, effects, ice pack, melting, environment    Article Body: Marya Mannes once wrote, “The earth we abuse and the living things we kill will, in the end, take their revenge; for in exploiting their presence we are diminishing our future.” Obviously Ms. Mannes preferred the status quo - health, sanity, logic, blah, blah, blah. Why? Green House Roulette is so much more intriguing. In the country, weather affects everything. For five years Western South Dakota has been gripped by drought. Water and hay are vanishing. Farms and ranches are blowing away. While the government bails out victims from hurricanes and says, ‘South Dawho?’ our cattle are pi...

Every now and then I like to frequent our local liquor store to stock my bar.  Our neighborhood store is nothing special, but has what I need when I need it.  I have never paid a whole lot of attention to the sign as I entered the establishment.  The sign clearly states that not only do they sell beer and wine, they also sell party supplies.  Great.  You never know when a party may break out and having a store with party supplies at your disposal is nothing but a posititve thing. I walked into our neighborhood establishment and strolled through the isles.  My bar was already stocked sufficiently, so alcohol was not on the list for this trip.  Today's trip was for nothing but party supplies. I greeted the man behind the counter with a smile.  "Hello" to him must mean,"please tell me every insignificant detail of yourself" as he proceeded to tell me about his day up to that point.  Thanks.  I care.  This man was nothing but a dis...

I always know when April makes its yearly debut without consulting the calendar because my wife usually says, “Let’s clean out the garage today.” Trust me on this one, it is no April fool’s joke, but someone gets fooled. And believe me, I’m just not anybody’s fool. I’m my wife’s fool. I always know when April makes its yearly debut without consulting the calendar because my wife usually says, “Let’s clean out the garage today.” Trust me on this one, it is no April fool’s joke, but someone gets fooled. And believe me, I’m just not anybody’s fool. I’m my wife’s fool. Somehow, her “let’s” has a funny singular ring to it and we had, if I remember correctly, a double ring wedding ceremony. Hers is on her left ring finger while mine somehow ended up in my nose. Sliding door repair Dubai   TV Installation Services in Dubai dimmer switch replacement Dubai Samsung Mobile Repair Dubai Picture Hanging Dubai   garage door repair dubai For some reason spring brings ...