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Showing posts from November, 2019

Proof Tax Laws Faulty: 9 Out Of 10 Americans Set To Declare Bankruptcy

Proof Tax Laws Faulty: 9 Out Of 10 Americans Set To Declare Bankruptcy Sliding door repair Dubai   Curtain Installation in Dubai TV Installation Services in Dubai   Curtains Fixing Dubai   iphone repair dubai Picture Hanging Dubai   garage door repair dubai As the distribution of wealth in America becomes increasingly skewed toward the wealthiest 7% or so of the population, where we find more and more resplendently bedecked billionaires, the income of the other 93% of the populace continues to go the way of the wealthiest. The growing destitution of this significant segment of the population has now become so acute that the majority of Americans are all set to declare bankruptcy. Keywords: humor,comedy,satire,news,news laugh,laugh,joke,laughs,jokes,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: As the distribution of wealth in America becomes increasingly skewed toward the wealthiest 7% or so of the population, where we find more and more r...

Pope to Rule On Condoms And AIDS

Pope to Rule On Condoms And AIDS Sliding door repair Dubai   TV Installation Services in Dubai   light installation in Dubai iphone repair dubai Picture Hanging Dubai   garage door repair dubai Pope Benedict has courageously asked for recommendations from fellow ecclesiastics about whether or not a couple, in which one member has AIDS, may use condoms for the prevention of disease. We assume, for the greater glorification of the Church, that neither he nor his advisers are at the expert level when it comes to either topic. So we think he would wisely bring enhanced credence to whatever he decides if he were to meet with couples who have hands-on experience. Keywords:  humor,comedy,satire,news,news laugh,laugh,joke,laughs,jokes,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: Pope Benedict, taking an unexpected and courageous step, has asked for recommendations from fellow ecclesiastics about whether or not a couple, in which one member has AI...

Polygamists March; Demand Volume Discount On Marriage Licenses

Polygamists March; Demand Volume Discount On Marriage Licenses garage door repair dubai Curtain Installation in Dubai Curtains Fixing Dubai   garage door repair dubai iphone screen repair dubai Picture Hanging Dubai   garage door repair dubai The demonstration was incited when a breakaway member of the Mormon Church was buying so many marriage licenses that he had to rob a bank to pay for them. The bearded leader of the march explained, “When people only buy one marriage license, we can see why they have to pay the full freight. But when you’re like us and buy them on a regular basis, it’s only fair that you ought to get a break on the price.” Keywords: humor,comedy,satire,political satire,laugh,joke,news,news laugh,newslaugh,laughs,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: Polygamists, under attack even in the generally tolerant and Mormon-populous state of Utah, marched on Washington, demanding what they regard as their right to a volume discoun...

Political Humor: Are You A Dittohead?

Political Humor: Are You A Dittohead? Sliding door repair Dubai   TV Installation Services in Dubai   light installation in Dubai iphone screen repair dubai Picture Hanging Dubai   garage door repair dubai Years ago, Rush Limbaugh coined the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks. Yet millions of dittoheads across the Fruited Plain lacked a guide for making the best adult beverages. So I created The Dittohead's Guide to Adult Beverages, a collection of humorous dittohead recipes such as the Rio Linda Rouser, EIB Ecstasy Elixir, Club G'itmo Guzzler, and many more! Just try out these great recipes: DEAD WHITE GUY GINGER ALE Glass: A Clay Bowl Stolen from Na... Keywords: rush limbaugh, dittohead, political humor Article Body: Years ago, Rush Limbaugh coined the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks. Yet millions of dittoheads across the Fruited Plain lacked a guide for making the best adult beverages. So I...

Peace-Loving

Peace-Loving garage door repair dubai Curtain Installation in Dubai Curtains Fixing Dubai   garage door repair dubai iphone repair dubai Picture Hanging Dubai   garage door repair dubai Noting the way violent and irrational Muslims have dominated the news, while the Muslim masses and, most inexcusably, Muslim clerics have in general remained reticent about the scandalously murderous terrorist talk and the mayhem the lunatics advocate, we decided there must be, among the world’s billion or so Muslims, any number of normal, peace-loving and, on a wild bet, perhaps even modern-minded, acolytes. So we began our tireless search to see if we might find such a rare and wonderful countercurrent to the tide that is sweeping the Muslim religion ever more beyond the shoreline of what sane and civilized people consider blessed. We’re delighted to tell you that, after an extensive search, we were, in fact, able to locate at least one such exceptional and distinguished so...

Pat Robertson Confesses! God Upset With Him; Tells Him He Lost His Mind

Pat Robertson Confesses! God Upset With Him; Tells Him He Lost His Mind garage door repair dubai sliding door repair dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai Pat Robertson, in the wake of having reported that God told him Tsunami-like storms were likely to hit the U. S. coasts this year, appeared on his transparently acquisitive TV program visibly shaken, and announced, “God has told me something else, and it’s something I didn’t want to hear. He said, ‘Pat, you lost your mind. ’” “Naturally, I was surprised and asked why he would ever think such a thing of me. “God went on to ask, ‘Did you report that I told you America should assassinate Hugo Chavez, the leader of Venezuela?’ “'Yes, I did,' I confessed. “’And did you recently tell people I told you that this year I’m going to send fearsome storms to batter the coastlines of America?’ “'Yes, I did,' I confessed again. “’But, Pat, ask yourself, if I’m the benevole...

Palestinian Leadership Saved By Suitcase Loaded With Cash

Palestinian Leadership Saved By Suitcase Loaded With Cash sliding door repair dubai Curtain Installation in Dubai   Curtains Fixing Dubai   Automatic Garage Door Dubai   iphone screen repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai The Palestinian leadership, experiencing an ongoing cash crunch because the civilized world refuses to support its unachievable vow to destroy Israel, suffered the indignity of being assaulted by its own unpaid workers, who shouted “We are hungry!” But, just in the nickel of time, the Palestinian Foreign Minister managed to smuggle a suitcase loaded with $20 million in cash into Gaza. He had slipped in from Egypt, on his way back from a successful begging trip to Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, China, Pakistan, Iran and Egypt. Keywords: humor,comedy,satire,political satire,laugh,joke,news,news laugh,newslaugh,laughs,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: The Palestinian leadership, experiencing an on...

Our police takes care of us

Our police takes care of us garage door repair dubai sliding door repair dubai light installation in Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai This story was told by one of my friends (and edited by me). I can’t say for sure if the story is true but  in case of dire need personal information about the participants has been changed. Keywords: russian, police, Moscow, story Article Body: … It happened at one of the railway stations within Moscow precincts. On the watch of public order there was captain Viktor Nikolayevich Stepantsov. Rough and lusty fellow, he was a drinker and had a vehement hatred for all the migrants. Once his strong claws caught a couple of Tajiks (citizens of Tajikistan), who were trying to get on the train for free. Guest workers were brought to the police station where they underwent a thorough check-out, though the policeman didn’t find any documents, money or any other tangible property. Having been dist...

Our Baby: The Grape

Our Baby: The Grape sliding door repair dubai Curtain Installation in Dubai   Curtains Fixing Dubai   Automatic Garage Door Dubai   iphone screen repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai My wife and I are only about six weeks into this pregnancy thing and we're still trying to wrap our heads around this whole idea of having a baby, though we have wildly different thoughts on the subject.  I'm worried about whether or not we'll be able to handle the financial and moral responsibilities of bringing a child into the world.  My wife is mostly worried about passing something the size of a watermelon through her hoo-ha. Keywords: pregnancy father parenting baby humor Article Body: My wife and I are only about six weeks into this pregnancy thing and we're still trying to wrap our heads around this whole idea of having a baby, though we have wildly different thoughts on the subject.  I'm worried about whether or not we'll...

Our Adobe Hacienda

Our Adobe Hacienda garage door repair dubai sliding door repair dubai light installation in Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai When I was a teenager, my family moved to the largest alpine valley in the world- the San Luis Valley in southern Colorado, into a house that hadn't been inhabited for many years. What appeared to be an insurmountable task, reclaiming the living space in an adobe shack, while we cooked outside and pumped water from a hand-pump, slowly became a passion. The old adobe had been built by a Japanese family many years before, and until we found it, had been a frequent party place for local teens... Keywords: southwest,comedy,humor,funny,laugh,clutter,farm,chickens,colorado,country,meander,meander magazine,dianne james,humorous,humor articles,comedian,comic,jokes,chuckle,comic,meandermagazine.com,jok Article Body: When I was a teenager, my family moved to the largest alpine valley in the world, the San ...

On the Road Again

On the Road Again Sliding door repair Dubai   Washing Machine and Dishwasher Installation in Dubai sliding door repair dubai Water Heater Repair Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai Article Body: My wife and I need to exercise more. Every time we leave the house we notice vultures circling overhead in anticipation and now our washing machine is doing that nasty thing where it shrinks our clothes. So, in a moment of pure inspiration and absolutely no intelligent thought whatsoever, we decide to take up mountain biking. We could remember biking as kids and there was nothing to it. We set out to purchase our bikes with the fond memory of a cool breeze gently blowing in our faces. One of the first things we notice is that the seats are too small. Apparently they are now making the seats smaller than in our youth. The clerk smiles knowingly and smugly suggests that for the more mature biking enthusiasts they can attach foam paddin...
Nightclub For Baby Boomes Raided; Patrons sliding door repair dubai Curtain Installation in Dubai Curtains Fixing Dubai   Washing Machine and Dishwasher Installation in Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai Acting on a tip from a twenty-something couple who entered the trendy club by accident, police raided the boomer hotspot. The owner, who was taken away in cuffs, claimed, “I had no idea some of the customers were dropping that stuff. But somehow they were smuggling it past the bouncers – Alka-Seltzer, Tums, Rolaids, you name it. Had I known, I would have slipped them some complimentary club soda.” Keywords:  humor,comedy,satire,news,news laugh,laugh,joke,laughs,jokes,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: A trendy new nightclub that caters to baby boomers who find themselves unexpectedly single was raided by police last night. Acting on a tip from a twenty-something couple who entered the hotspot by accide...

New Reality Show Debuts, Called New Orleans, Sink Or Swim

New Reality Show Debuts, Called New Orleans, Sink Or Swim garage door repair dubai sliding door repair dubai Water Heater Repair Dubai Samsung Mobile Repair Dubai   TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai As if Katrina wasn’t a bad enough blow for New Orleans, geologists now inform us that, due to more exact measurements via satellite, they have been able to determine that the down but not out metropolis is sinking faster than previously thought – instead of about a fifth of an inch a year, about an inch, which is, of course, about a foot every dozen years. Always keen to ride the crest of a new wave onto megabuck beach, a television production company, having alighted on an enormous pot of gold with a previous, highly imaginative reality show, has honed in on the sinking city and created a new show, called “New Orleans, Sink Or Swim.” The concept immediately sparked interest in the equally imaginative creative minds at the networks, and ABC raced to option...
New Dracula Musical To Close, Except On Nights With Full Moon Sliding door repair Dubai   Water Heater Repair Dubai sliding door repair dubai Samsung Mobile Repair Dubai   TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai Lestat, the new musical about vampires, if the mind can conceive of such an existent, having been sucked dry at the box office, is performing the most welcome service it has since its debut. It’s closing. The notice did provide, however, for the show to remain open on nights that feature a full moon. Keywords: humor,comedy,satire,political satire,laugh,joke,news,news laugh,newslaugh,laughs,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: Lestat, the new musical about vampires, if the mind can conceive of such an existent, having been sucked dry at the box office, is performing the most welcome service it has since its debut. It’s closing. The notice did provide, however, for the show to remain open on nights that feature a full moon. ...
New Cause of High Blood Pressure Revealed; Expecting Logical Behavior garage door repair dubai Curtain Installation in Dubai Curtains Fixing Dubai   Washing Machine and Dishwasher Installation in Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai A new study in The New England Journal Of Medicine reveals that one of the principal causes of high-blood pressure in the contemporary world is logical thinking. A researcher commented on the surprise finding, saying, “Look it’s basically an illogical world out there. So the more you try to deal with it logically, the more upset you’re bound to become – and up shoots your blood pressure. We found that, when we convince patients to give up interfacing with the world with the expectations that logical thinking sets up, they immediately become far more relaxed and, as a result, their blood pressure drops, often returning to normal levels.” Keywords: humor,comedy,satire,political satire,laugh,jok...

Mr. Handyman

Mr. Handyman garage door repair dubai sliding door repair dubai Washing Machine and Dishwasher Installation in Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai Why home improvement projects should be left to the professionals. First thing Saturday morning I decided to fix the washing machine. This decision had not been reached lightly. The cold water pressure was weak so I had checked with two experts at work (i.e., they had both owned washing machines at one time or another) and determined that it was a sticky solenoid. I grabbed my toolbox and told my wife what I was planning. “It’ll be fixed in ten minutes,” I explain as I head down to the basement. Meanwhile, she is looking up the number of a ‘24 hour emergency plumbing service’ and entering it into the speed-dialing function of the telephone. “Shouldn’t I call the plumber?” she asks, making it obvious that she doesn’t understand men. Of course, she has her reasons - I’ve had some...

Movie Stars As Sources Of Wisdom

Movie Stars As Sources Of Wisdom sliding door repair dubai sliding door repair dubai Water Heater Repair Dubai iphone repair dubai TV Installation Dubai garage door repair dubai They bring themselves to our attention by committing to memory, or by reading off one kind of prompter or another, words devised by others. But once they ascend to the starry vault that hovers over us, do we expect of them anything consonant with the ability to recite the usual inanities? No, suddenly we want these storied performers to transform themselves into the wise harbingers of original insight and exemplary advice. Keywords: humor,comedy,satire,political satire,laugh,joke,news,news laugh,newslaugh,laughs,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits Article Body: Why do many people look to movie stars for answers to some of life's most challenging questions? While we have great respect for the art of acting, as explicated from Stanislavsky to Strasberg, the latter of whom we knew well an...